I think its okay. Its okay to cry, when you wake up and the pain hits you like a train. its okay to be sad 4 months later. its okay to miss him. As long as you are doing what you can to stay positive and move forward with your life. As long as you aren’t letting the pain and sorrow consume your life, its okay to give in to it once in awhile. I think its okay to let yourself feel for them, even when there no longer around.